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THE LAST REAL TALK SHOW ON THE INTERNET

We got merch, y'all!

We got merch, y'all!

The best part of Landline? The phone number. That’s why we put it on a hat.

WHERE YOU CAN PITCH A FIT OR A STORY.

Everything Happens on Substack.

Articles, full episodes, and live call-ins—right where they belong.

(Because social media is exhausting.)

Vintage cassette player with wooden design and control knobs on a wooden surface.
Landline Show - A live call-in comedy experience with real people and questionable decisions

a place For the confused, curious & Trying

Landline goes live when it goes live—no set time, no warning, just a ringing phone and whoever’s on the other end. No scripts. No fake outrage. No algorithm whispering in our ear. Just real people, real stories, and real weirdos with advice, questions, and whatever’s rattling around in their heads.

Want in? Subscribe on Substack to know when the line’s open. Call live or leave a voicemail anytime—either way, you’re part of the show.

Join the conversation!

How to call in

*

How to call in *

Hotline:
615-212-5437

Call live

No schedule, no warning—just someone answering the phone when the line’s open. Want in? Subscribe on Substack to get the heads-up.

Leave a voicemail anytime

We might air it on the show, or we might just laugh about it privately. Either way, your voice matters.

Vintage "Public Telephone" sign with a Bell System logo, featuring a blue bell on a white background, surrounded by blue text.

WHERE TO WATCH

Call in. Be heard. Have an opinion. Be hilarious. Get roasted. Change your mind. Or don’t.

WHY LANDLINE?

Because every other “conversation” out there feels like a bad faith debate club hosted by TikTok influencers who read half a Wikipedia page.

We’re not here to win arguments. We’re here to talk like humans used to—before everything got weird. If you miss that too, you’re in the right place.

FOR NOW, IT'S FREE!

FOR NOW, IT'S FREE!

Why Subscribe?

Because real conversation is disappearing faster than my desire to start working out.

  • What you get:

    • 📞 Live Call-In Show – Every Friday at 3 PM CT. Call in, listen in, or eavesdrop like it’s 1998.

    • 📬 Exclusive Posts – Extra commentary, best moments, behind-the-scenes gossip (but, like, the fun kind).

    • 💬 Substack Chat – Ask questions, post messages, or tell me I’m wrong without picking up the phone. Join Chat.

    • 🎙️ The Archive – Past calls, past chaos, always available for your listening pleasure.

    Subscribe

  • Subscriptions are free, but if you want to fuel my coffee habit, donations are welcome.

    Donate

Call in. Subscribe. Be part of the next great talk show that actually lets you talk.